The Fruit of the Spirit's not a Lemon

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. THESE are the fruits of the spirit. As many of you know, it has now been about 15 months since our family embarked on this path that God has called us to. I wish I had the skills (and the time) to properly express all the ways in which God has used, and continues to use, this season of our lives to work in my life. I think, though, that this particular topic will encompass a multitude of those. Admittedly, I have been a person quick to anger, discontent, and rarely patient. Over the past several months, I've felt as if God has been holding a mirror to my spirit, allowing me to see things in my heart that I haven't wanted to see. I began to ask myself these questions, "Why am I so angry all the time? Why can I not remember the blessings God has given me and be content?" As I began to ask myself these types of questions, the Holy Spirit brought to my heart the fruits of the spirit. I began to go down the list and use it as a measuring stick of sorts. "When others meet me, talk to me, see me, do they see these fruits in my life? More importantly, as God looks at me, does he see these fruits?" Not surprisingly, I found myself falling short in almost every area. If I'm angry (which is often), how can I show love, joy, patience, kindness, or goodness? If I'm ungrateful for what I have and living in discontent, how can I show peace? If I'm not daily being thankful for the extraordinary provision of my God, am I demonstrating faithfulness? If I lose my temper and lash out at my children, my husband, or the clerk at Wal-Mart, will they see gentleness and self-control. Am I bearing fruit in my life of the relationship I am suppose to have with my Saviour? Oh how it makes my heart ache to think of the opportunities that have been missed to have my life be a witness through the fruits. Thank God HE has not given up on me!